Important Life Lessons for Your 20s You Need to Thrive

There will be many life lessons in your 20s to reflect on. But when you struggle, it can be hard to do see them.

Any year of your life may cause you difficulty. There are always life stages that you will come up against. Everyone has their own time frames in which they will experience different life stages. In addition to the way you feel about them and approach them. Some people get excited while others experience dread. You might also feel both.

It is normal to have ups and downs, that is a part of life. If you struggle with your mental health or are stuck in a state of survival and hopelessness, each year of your life can bring about dread and other negative thoughts. This can only add to the difficulty that you are already experiencing in your life. 

While life is your own unique journey, it can be helpful to reflect. The intention of this post is only to share some of the positive reflections of being in your 20s when you struggle with your mental health. It can feel like the world around you is moving forward and you are stuck. There is hope for you. Reflecting on the positives, or at the very least neutral aspects of life, you might be able to help yourself just a little bit. These insights will click with you when you are in the right place to hear them. I hope they can help you in some kind of way, at some point in your journey <3 

Here are some important life lessons for your 20s to consider. 

#1 Keep showing up for yourself  

Regardless of whether you know what you’re doing or what you want, keep showing up for yourself. This has by far been one of the biggest and most important life lessons for your 20s you should consider. It is SO easy to just hide under the covers and not deal with the day. Learning to become an advocate for yourself and how to show up when things are getting tough is key. If you cannot show up for yourself, you cannot fully show up for anyone else.  

Showing up for yourself means meeting your essential needs – whether this is physical, mental or emotional. Start small and see what needs are not being met. This might even just be drinking a glass of water in the morning. Then you can build momentum from there to start showing up in other areas of your life.

#2 Let go of limiting beliefs 

It would go amiss if this blog on the life lessons for your 20s did not mention limiting beliefs. Life is way too short to care what others might think of you. It is easy to want to live under a rock because you are too afraid of what others might think. It is not easy to do, especially if you are:

• sensitive,
• have struggles about not fitting in
• don’t like confrontation
• lack confidence
• have low self-esteem

A life lesson for your 20s is to learn more about how you can work on this. 

Limiting beliefs stop you from doing something you want to do. A limiting belief might be that you don’t feel you are good enough. Or that you won’t be able to do something. However, this isn’t always a good reason not to do something. If it is holding you back and making you unhappy, it is worth considering how you can change that. You don’t want to get older and live with regrets for things that are silly to look back on. They may seem big and not silly to you now though, which is what makes it difficult. 

Try to put it into perspective.

Why would you let something small stop you from doing what you TRULY want to do!?  

Write down some things that you want to do or achieve. Write down why you aren’t doing them or think you can’t. Review these to see if any of them are factual, and what ones are opinions. Consider whether you can give them a go. Or what you need to do to get to the point of starting. In some cases, you might have to learn or train before you do something. You might also have to be okay with being a beginner and learning and failing. That is often the issue. That you are too afraid to fail or be in the position of a beginner again. But you have to start somewhere. 

#3 Learn to say no 

Learning to stand up and say no is an extremely hard thing to do when you are:

• not used to it
• struggle with anxiety, confrontation, people pleasing
• when you think your brain works a bit differently to others
• there tends to be a lot of misunderstandings when it comes to communication

This life lesson for your 20s will be a process of difficult conversations. It might even hurt, especially if people are not used to you saying no.

You must consider your wants and needs. Think about what boundaries you want to put in place. Begin the journey of learning how to communicate them. Start small. This is an important way to start, so you can make the barrier to doing it much lower. Then you can begin to build momentum and practice setting boundaries and saying no in more situations as you begin to get comfortable. It will probably be uncomfortable at first, so make sure you set realistic expectations. 

#4 Be honest and authentic

An important life lesson for your 20s is to learn to be more honest and authentic. Lying is something that is easily done, especially when it seems small and harmless. Lying might be something you do to shrink yourself, to protect yourself and to avoid confrontation. They can also be easy to do when you don’t feel like you fit in the world. Or you struggle with things like anxiety, depression and OCD. It can feel like the easier option to take when people don’t understand you or you want to keep the peace.

Unfortunately, it is not a good or sustainable way to live in the world. You then get caught up in a web of lies and lose touch with reality and your own identity. If you are already struggling, it is likely that you probably struggle with the real world and reality as it is, so lying will only dig you into a deeper hole. It can also be a big thing for people who are chronic people pleasers. This can be an easy trap to fall into. You may bend the truth so that you can fit into groups better, hide details you are afraid to share, make people like you and make people happy. 

This is also negative. Eventually, you begin to lose touch with your identity. You morph into another persona to fit in or please others. This can result in identity issues, loneliness and many more related struggles. If you have always done this, or feel yourself falling into this trap, it can be difficult to get out because you feel like you have so much to lose and you are not going to be accepted. 

It is important to take some time to reflect on if you are being honest with yourself, and with others. Identify areas where you lie or bend the truth or morph yourself. Consider why you are doing this, what you have to gain and what you have to lose. Review this information to see where you can begin to make small changes. As with everything, it will take time some getting used to and face the hard truth of things. But you’ve got this. Many people have come out on the other side of this kind of change and preached how happy it has made them and how it has resulted in connecting with more like-minded people. It also will feel like a huge weight on your already stressed, depressed and anxious shoulders. 

#5 Quality over quantity  

Considering quality over quantity, in all aspects of your life, is an important life lesson for your 20s. From friendships to exercise, the quality of the things that you do, the people you have in your life, and the things you consume are vital to your health and happiness. It is much better to have quality friends in your life than it is to have lots of them who don’t care or mean anything. You should opt for better quality exercise to keep your mind and body healthy, over-wrecking it for hours a week in the gym. Try to consider what areas of your life can benefit from quality over quantity, and begin to make changes. 

More things do not always mean good things. Patience, consistency and authenticity will get you so much further.  

#6 Patience and consistency 

Quality over quantity leads nicely to patience and consistency. This again applies to everything. Blogging, business, working out, relationships, etc. It is easy to just expect instantly, and then feel let down when you don’t get it. It is also easy to quickly move on to the next best (and quickest) thing. Nothing needs to be rushed. It’s all a process, a journey that should take time and effort and most importantly, should be enjoyed. Nothing is also as serious or as permanent as we give it credit for – which is a big lesson of your 20s. Try to stick to things and be patient and consistent, and you will see results. If you struggle to make decisions or find you have picked the wrong thing, know and understand that you can make a change. 

#7 Comparison is the thief of joy  

Lesson 7 for your 20s is about comparing yourself to others. You might have seen this phrase floating around, and I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but you can hear it and consider it, it is a powerful one, especially the way we live right now. There probably aren’t many people in their 20s right now who don’t find themselves scrolling on social media.

Whether you mindlessly scroll as a form of dissociation from life, or you only hop on it now and again, there is no escaping the highlight reel of society. Humans are not evolved or used to consuming that much information in short bursts, especially world news and individual updates. This can make you feel helpless, as you learn about world conflicts and all the holidays people are going on.

It is great to learn about world issues, but not to know so much in such a short space of time. Especially when there is a lot of misinformation online. Being online can also be good to connect with your friends and see what they are up to. You can connect with like-minded people around the world that you otherwise wouldn’t.

Consider your social media consumption, what you see online in addition to how it makes you feel. Any negative thoughts or feelings that arise are where you should begin to make changes. It might be unfollowing certain people or taking yourself off certain platforms. Try to be honest with yourself. Remember, to some extent, you have control over what you see and what you curate on your feed. Minimise comparison of others and try to stay inspired instead. 

This also goes for life outside of social media. We always think the grass is greener on the other side, and sometimes it might be that way. But as the saying goes, the grass is greener on the side that we water it. Reflect on what you are comparing with other people’s lives. Think where you are experiencing resentment or other negative thoughts and feelings. This will shine a light on areas that perhaps you are insecure or need to consider making changes.   

#8 Be grateful  

It is easy to take life for granted, most people do. As you grind to work hard and survive, you forget about the good things. We often fall into the trap of people, things and ourselves being “not enough”. When we feel this way, we always look for things outside of ourselves to validate us and it makes us feel bad.

There are a lot of things online that tell you to be grateful, write a gratitude journal, etc. It can often seem small and silly, or pointless. However, the point behind the practice is to help yourself identify that not everything is negative, bad or hopeless. The next stage of that is to then try and physically and emotionally connect with what you are saying. This will help you feel the gratitude in your body.

There is a big mind-body connection that is very much underestimated but is linked to your health. This will also help you to train your brain to look for more positives in your environment. You may start to naturally be grateful throughout your week. This is a huge way to help your mental health. By all means it is not a solution. But if you can do small things that will help even 0.5%, why wouldn’t you?

Try to think of 1 thing when you wake up or go to bed if you find this hard. If you find it easy, then write down 3 things every day.   

#9 Happiness is not a destination  

Do you find yourself thinking that “you’ll be happy when you have x”? 

This is a trap that many people fall into, and becomes a vicious cycle. Maybe it will be when you finally get that job, move house, or buy that outfit. But when you do this, nothing is ever enough and you will always be chasing something. You will put yourself on a journey of highs and lows.

This can be difficult to change when you work a bit differently from other people. For example, you have ADHD and you thrive off fixations and starting different things that pique your interest. However, the difference here is the mindset behind what you are doing.

Dopamine chasing for someone with ADHD can be difficult especially if there is shame and things around it. It is important to separate yourself from having interests and finding enjoyment – to that thing making you happy or completing your life. Because when will it be enough?

It is important to learn to enjoy the journey and not set your hopes up. This is true when you say you’ll be happy when you get that holiday, or you change your hair. While you enjoy these things and should do them, you must try to enjoy the holiday for what it is. The problem with this example specifically, is that your problems will still be there when you get back. 

Reflect on what you are doing and why you are doing it. Consider how you can make the journey more enjoyable, and create a better quality of life for yourself. This will help you bounce between interests without the huge ups and downs. Learn to find enoughness within yourself and your life, without placing it on external factors. Recognise your internal dialogue when this comes up and call yourself out. Try to find joy in the small things, that is what is going to count.

#10 Think about what you may regret

It is easy to say live with no regrets, but when you’re riddled with anxiety, leaving the house is hard enough. It is easy to say consider your future, but when you are depressed, the next day is hard enough. So with that in mind, I say this with a punch of salt. If and when you have capacity, try to consider what future you might look back at and regret not doing. Is there anything that comes to mind? Not to say that you should go out and do that thing immediately. But it might help you to start thinking about what things you want to do in your life. It can give you a little motivation to do it, as you attach emotion to the outcome.

Life in your 20’s is tough and there are a lot of lessons. These are just a few important ones that you might want to consider to help you. I hope they do. Your 20s are a lot of searching, habit-creating, heart break, identity issues, friendship changes, and more. It is a whirlwind, but it is also a time when you should be having fun. When you struggle with your mental health, it can feel like you are not the same as other 20-year-olds. But please know you are not alone.